EXAMPLE

June 2000: Make a List

What is the purpose of your message? What is the best way to say it?
Persuasive Pen wrote a list for Worldwide Biz Club at
www.wbc.com.

Original

Revised

To: ALL WBC MEMBERS.

Reminder To ALL WBC MEMBERS

Please note that unless you post an Offer to Buy or Sell or Offer a Business proposal or Professional Service, your name will not appear in the WBC Business Communities and you will not receive any New Trade Leads and inquires. To be sure you receive New Trade Leads and Inquiries, please do the following:
WBC's researches its Members data base and sends out daily matching Email notifications to companies seeking products and services in your field. This could be one of the reason if you do not receive enough new leads or inquires, because you have not posted any Offer or entered your email in the Free TradeMatch with the specific keywords. 1. Post an Offer to Buy or Sell, or Offer a Business Proposal or Professional Service to assure that your name appears in WBC Business Communities. 
We advise you to post an Offer and enter key words, if you have not already done it. We can guarantee you that by doing so, you will receive new trade leads and inquiries.  2. Enter your Email in the Free TradeMatch with specific keywords. WBC researches its Members’ databases and sends out daily matching Email notifications to companies seeking products and services in your field.

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