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Patter
My
tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalm 45:1
Thank
you to Joseph Epstein for permission to use the
following punaphors: from his
article "Bottle That Punaphor." Epstein
defines punaphors as "inept metaphors with the
quality of unconscious puns."
Sex:
We'll
only know the effect of passing out condoms to teenagers
four or five years from now, when the rubber meets the
road.
Sports: "Using
injured players as an excuse for a loss is, in my
opinion, nothing more than looking for a crutch."
Television
Weatherman: "Differing
tolerances among people for the cold is really a matter
of degree."
New
York Times obituary: a
deceased woman who owned a button shop was described as
"hooked on buttons."
Overheard:
"These
new socks fit like a glove."
"The
butcher, in giving us this chili recipe, certainly
didn't give us a bum steer."
"Commentary"
writer, talking about teenage suicide: "Perhaps
rather than being cases of copying, all these suicides
have something grave in common."
Joseph
Epstein
j-epstein@nwu.edu
Joseph
Epstein, former editor of "The American
Scholar," teaches writing and literature at
Northwestern University and is the author of many books,
including "Narcissus Leaves the Pool";
"Ambition, the Secret Passion"; "Once
More Around the Block"; "Partial
Payments"; "A Line Out for a Walk"; and
"Life Sentences." He is also the editor of
"The Norton Book of Personal Essays" and
"The Best American Essays 1993." |
