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PITH

August 2002: Sentence Structure

  "The two most engaging powers of an author are to make new things familiar, and familiar things new."

Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (17091784)

Original

Revised

The baby world is quite a happy one. It's there that the doll artist does her detailed, love-infused work.

The baby world is the happy place where love infuses the artist’s detailed work.

...established a new category in its annual doll competition, Modern. The Modern category included dolls from the 1930s onward, including the 1980s. This was a defining moment in the annals of doll collecting for several reasons. There previously had been no regular UFDC forums for exhibiting mass-manufactured dolls from the 1930s onward or for exhibiting dolls by contemporary artists. The establishment of the Modern category thus legitimized...

...in its annual doll competition established the new category of Modern, which included dolls from the 1930s onward. This was a defining moment in the annals of doll collecting for several reasons. Previously, no regular UFDC forums had existed for exhibiting mass-manufactured dolls from that era or for exhibiting dolls by contemporary artists. Thus, establishing the Modern category legitimized...

At this time, caricatures of Louis Philippe, the bourgeois King of France, carrying a bright red umbrella were sold in the London streets, as were figures of Marshal Haynau, the brutal Austrian dictator of Hungary, who was depicted carrying an instrument of torture in his hand.

At this time, London street vendors sold caricatures of the bourgeois king of France, Louis Philippe, carrying a bright red umbrella; and figures of Marshal Haynau that depicted the brutal Austrian dictator of Hungary with an instrument of torture in his hand.