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PITH

May 2000: Trim Trite Tone

Let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way about. In prose, the worst thing one can do with words is to surrender to them.
George Orwell, Politics and the English Language

If attitude is everything, tone expresses its emotional meaning. What impression do you want your readers to have of your characters?

Original

Revised

One of them was a pain in the neck. That one incessantly irritated me.
He picked on me all the time. He criticized me constantly.
How on Earth has he found me? How did he discover me?
She had tons of homework. She had much homework.
I always kept her in a very special place in my heart. My heart keeps her place secure.
I ran like hell. I reached the bus in two minutes.
At around two, it suddenly started to pour buckets of rain. The rain suddenly saturated us.